Thursday, February 12, 2009

When You Have A Dream, You Take Risks

I have refrained from commenting on this topic until now, but after watching NBC’s Ann Curry’s interview, I had to say something.

By now, you have, no doubt, heard the story of Nadya Suleman, Octomom, as she has been dubbed.  The mother of newborn octuplets and 6 older children. 

I have no problem with women who choose to be single mothers.  I have no problem with women who choose to have several children, although I would prefer they adopt children who need a home, but that is their choice.  I have no problem with women who seek infertility treatment.  I have no problem with women whose IVF results in multiples.

Combine all of those things, being a single mom, having several children by choice through IVF and being unemployed all the while is where I think everyone is having a problem with this.

During her interview, she said she went on disability for a back issue and had been living off that while having 6 children in 5 years intentionally via costly IVF.

First of all, how can you have children and receive disability for a back injury?  I know a lot of women who have severe strain on their backs during pregnancy.  I’m thinking that would nullify your disability checks.  (Not to mention the back strain that must come from multiples.)

Next issue I have is she says she is responsible.  Ann Curry flat out asked her how she could think she is responsible.  Her answer was that she is responsible because she is there for her children.

Love is not enough, honey.  When you are single and unemployed with no source of income and you intentionally and continuously bring children into the world, you are not being responsible.  No matter how you cut it, that is not being responsible.

She said she always dreamed of a big family, all she wanted was to have children.

I can understand that.  I’ve always wanted children too.  Honestly, if I could find a man that would allow me to stay home and be a full-time mommy, that would be the life I would choose.  I have not found the man for me and am still single.  I am also unemployed.

However, logic tells me that as a single and unemployed woman, having children would be very irresponsible.  I have no means of supporting them.
I also live with my parents, as Nadya Suleman does.  Rather, she did.  It appears mom and dad ran for the hills when they found out there would be 14 children under the age of 8 in their home. 

I could just imagine my parents’ response if I came home one day and said, “hey guys, I know I have been living with you for a while and have been struggling to find a job, but I figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to be a mother.  I am going to go have IVF and have as many babies as I can have, but I am going to live with you all the while and no, I don’t know how I will provide for them financially, but it’s just a risk I have to take for my dream.”

Do you have any idea how fast and frequently they would bitch-slap me until I came to my senses?

Nadya Suleman, the Octomom (makes me envision her dressed in a leotard emblazoned with a big O on the front wearing a cape posing with her hands on her hips), stated she is going to finish her Masters in Psychology in a year and a half, and THEN she will be able to provide for her family.

A)  HOW does she think she is going to have TIME to finish her Masters with 14 kids, 8 as newborns?  All you mom’s out there, tell me, how will she manage this while caring for her 14 kids?
C)  WHAT does she plan on using to support them in the meantime?  A year and a half is a long time when it comes to diapers, formula, food, clothes, shelter, doctor bills, etc.

She said she is planning on moving to a bigger home.  She has set up a website for donations.  She says she has never been on welfare, though she has lived on disability and food stamps.  She claims she was not hoping for the financial assistance of shows like Jon & Kate Plus 8 or the Duggers.

I find it all very hard to believe.

I think she is not mentally stable.  She is obviously not financially stable.

She ALREADY HAD 6 beautiful kids.  One with Autism, one with ADHD and one with a learning disability.  With that information and her financial situation, she thought it was responsible and not at all selfish to have 6 more embryos implanted.

I must be an irrational lunatic because this sounds very much like the actions of an irresponsible, selfish person.

God help these children.

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