Tuesday, October 27, 2009


After weeks of hunting for a place to move my uncle, I finally got my mom to settle on a place.

It was one of the first places we saw. It's in a 55 & over building, but they allow people over 21 to live with the 55+ person, so my cousin can live with my uncle.

My mom was hesitant to put him in there even though it is as close to perfect for my uncle as it can be.

It's about 2 miles from my mom, so a mile farther than she goes now, but that's as close as we could get him.

It's also got flexicore ceilings, so it is very quiet. Where he's at now is on one of the busiest streets in Chicago and is ridiculously loud. So, it will be nice to be somewhere quieter.

It has elevators and step-in showers and it's wide open so he can get around, plus there is a balcony he can get out onto without a ramp. It's cozy and nice without being too nice that we would worry about a potential mess.

And it's affordable.

My mom kept wanting to see what else was out there and I was the one doing the research to find places. Places he could get into are either too expensive or too far.

She said he was concerned about transportation for my cousin (he doesn't have a car) and the fact that it's a 55+ building.

I kept telling her not to worry about my cousin, when he starts paying rent, then he gets a say.

She was getting herself all worked up about it and super stressed.

Finally, last week after we went to see another place that would have been good except that the doorways are far too narrow and there is no step-in shower, I had had enough.

I told her that if he was so concerned about my cousin not having transportation and being far from young people, then why did he have no problem moving from house to house going further out into the boondocks in the far North suburbs for so long? There was no bus at all. No restaurants, no stores for miles. There is a bus stop right outside this place. Not CTA, but still, transportation.

I proceeded to tell her that his choices are this place or a nursing home. There is nothing else he can afford. And his son cannot go to the nursing home with him, so, those are his choices, stop kowtowing to everything he wants. We are running out of time and if you wait, you will lose this place and he will end up in a nursing home.

I was very angry. I get so tired of all of us having to bend for them, yet they keep demanding more and more and she lets them have what they want rather than drawing a line.

So, my rant apparently gave her courage because she basically told him what I just said and he said okay.


So, now we just have to figure out when to move him. We can move him in after the 15th of November and he has to be out of his current place by December 1st. The only issue is that Thanksgiving falls in the middle of that and my brother-in-law's 40th birthday, so our dates to move him are limited.

I so wish I had money to hire a moving company and let them deal with it all. He has so much stuff and there are so few of us. I hope we can keep him in this new place for a very long time. I hate moving him.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Damn Nurse!

Last week I got a flu shot.

I don't recall having had one as an adult. I never felt the need for one.

With the whole swine flu thing, my mother basically begged me to get a flu shot.

I was hesitant, but since she was begging, I agreed.

We both went together. The doctor's office had back to back appointments, which is unusual at this particular doctor's office.

They said, just come in at our scheduled times and the nurse would give us the shots.

Excellent. In and out.

My mom's appointment was at 3:30, mine at 3:45. They had us sign the waiver as we came in. I thought that was great because it would save us some time.

35 minutes later, my mom asked the women at the desk what the problem was. They said there were only 2 nurses working and the doctor's were busy so the nurses were going back and forth between the doctor's and the flu shots.

My mom asked them what the point of an appointment was if they weren't going to stick to it? If they were busy they shouldn't have scheduled the flu shots.

She came back and waited another 10 minutes before she was called. She came out and told me she yelled at the nurse.

Great. I'm next.

It was a full hour after my scheduled appointment. I go in and the nurse gives me more paperwork to fill out. Really?

The entire hour I was sitting in the waiting room didn't seem like a good time to have me do this?

Then she proceeds to tell me that they shouldn't give me the shot because I hadn't been to the office in 4 years.

It's not like I haven't been to a doctor. I get a yearly exam and blood panel at my gynecologists. I have had mammograms and surgery in the last year. I was in an immediate care center last year for sinusitis and bronchitis.

By this point I was annoyed, plus I woke up in a bad mood.

I fill out her stupid paper work but leave the bottom empty. She comes in and tells me I HAVE to fill that out.

All it is is the part where I assign someone for them to discuss my records with.

Um, I don't think I should blanketly give permission for that.

I already gave you an emergency contact. If I have something wrong with me, I will give you the name of the person to talk to.

She tells me she will give me the shot, then I can finish that and make an appointment to see the doctor.

Whatever, lady.

She stabs my arm and I swear to you, it hurt! Badly! I kept thinking, no wonder little kids cry!

I've had shots before. I have had blood drawn. I am not afraid of needles. But that hurt!

She left and I filled out the bottom of the damn sheet. I walked to the front and no one was there. I set the form on the counter and bolted. I wasn't waiting another minute in this place.

I waved to my mom to go. I got in the car and told her how bad it hurt and she said it didn't hurt her at all.

I said, that's because you yelled at the lady and pissed her off, so she took it out on me!

Then I told her what the woman told me about not having been there and the stupid form.

My mom said I have to fill out the bottom because if I was in the ER, they'd fax it to the ER and know they could talk to her.

I said, if I am in ER in such a situation where I cannot speak or write, then they will need to work on me before they can find out who my primary physician is, contact the office and have them fax it, so that paper would be of absolutely no use.

Otherwise, I can assign a person to discuss my medical condition with at the time. I don't like the idea of giving open, blind permission for them to discuss my health with anyone including my mother.

Monday, October 19, 2009

October? Already? Again?

It's hard to believe we are in the middle of October already.

It's actually pretty hard to believe we are almost to 2010! How did that happen? When did time start accelerating so quickly?

I don't like it. Make it stop.

My niece and nephew put time into perspective for me. Days and weeks and years that would otherwise run into each other and seem like one are broken down by these two kids.

My niece is 7. I shake my head in disbelief. She was just a toddler pronouncing words wrong with her wide-eyed wonderment. Now she's a second grader. Tall and toothless. Learning more every day. Developing a strong personality.

I'm proud of the people they are becoming, but it's difficult to wrap my head around the time that has passed.

Years and the seasons within them fly by.

Fall is in full blast, which is my favorite season. The seasons represent changes in nature, but also within us and I am looking for some big changes in my life.

I've been distant as of late. Partly out of frustration. When my life turns chaotic, I turn within myself. I withdraw. Not healthy, I know, it's just how I am. One more gift from my father.

Most people turn to each other to sort things out. I go inside myself. I've always been that way. I work things out on my own.

Most bloggers blog about what's going on their life. I do too if it's positive things.

My absence started with me helping a friend with something. It's not something that I would blog about. Partly because it's not my business and partly because it's a part of myself that I do not share with people because it generally attracts judgment.

When that was resolved, then the whole job thing happened and I really did not want to talk about it much.

Then we found out we have to move my uncle, which is a daunting task. It's difficult to find a place that a bedridden person can physically access. The building has to be ground level or have an elevator. The doorways have to be at least 33 inches, which only newer buildings have. It has to have a step-in shower. It has to have central air because his MS is worsened by heat and central air is the only way to really control the air temp of the entire place. And it has to be affordable. Someone on social security disability has a very limited income. If he had a few hundred more dollars each month, it would be much easier, but he doesn't.

Then there is the task of packing up all his things and moving it all when there are few of us to do it. Add to that that he has to move during thanksgiving again....

Needless to say, I've been a bit distant and quite crabby.

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