Monday, October 19, 2009

October? Already? Again?

It's hard to believe we are in the middle of October already.

It's actually pretty hard to believe we are almost to 2010! How did that happen? When did time start accelerating so quickly?

I don't like it. Make it stop.

My niece and nephew put time into perspective for me. Days and weeks and years that would otherwise run into each other and seem like one are broken down by these two kids.

My niece is 7. I shake my head in disbelief. She was just a toddler pronouncing words wrong with her wide-eyed wonderment. Now she's a second grader. Tall and toothless. Learning more every day. Developing a strong personality.

I'm proud of the people they are becoming, but it's difficult to wrap my head around the time that has passed.

Years and the seasons within them fly by.

Fall is in full blast, which is my favorite season. The seasons represent changes in nature, but also within us and I am looking for some big changes in my life.

I've been distant as of late. Partly out of frustration. When my life turns chaotic, I turn within myself. I withdraw. Not healthy, I know, it's just how I am. One more gift from my father.

Most people turn to each other to sort things out. I go inside myself. I've always been that way. I work things out on my own.

Most bloggers blog about what's going on their life. I do too if it's positive things.

My absence started with me helping a friend with something. It's not something that I would blog about. Partly because it's not my business and partly because it's a part of myself that I do not share with people because it generally attracts judgment.

When that was resolved, then the whole job thing happened and I really did not want to talk about it much.

Then we found out we have to move my uncle, which is a daunting task. It's difficult to find a place that a bedridden person can physically access. The building has to be ground level or have an elevator. The doorways have to be at least 33 inches, which only newer buildings have. It has to have a step-in shower. It has to have central air because his MS is worsened by heat and central air is the only way to really control the air temp of the entire place. And it has to be affordable. Someone on social security disability has a very limited income. If he had a few hundred more dollars each month, it would be much easier, but he doesn't.

Then there is the task of packing up all his things and moving it all when there are few of us to do it. Add to that that he has to move during thanksgiving again....

Needless to say, I've been a bit distant and quite crabby.

1 comment:

BK said...

I guess we are pretty similar on keeping it inside ourselves. I have always thought, "others have their problems to handle and I should not add on to their lists. I can handle it on my own." And about the blog, I had restrained myself from negative ranting too; as far as I am concern, I want to keep it positive to bring a little inspiration to others a long the way. I hope all the move for your uncle will turn out well.

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