More Reasons Today.com Sucks

I received some comments for my post, "Today.com-Why They Suck," noticing that I am very angry with Today.com and the situation they have created for many excellent bloggers.

I am angry, but it is more than that.

I am disappointed that a company that thinks themselves so superior would treat their members like trash.

I am outraged that a company who has not held to its end of the agreement would expect to hold its members to that agreement in turn.

I am hopeful that my words will prevent others from falling victim to their lies and manipulation.

Around the time I posted about my experience, I emailed Today.com to see what it would take to get my content back.

Keep in mind that when I repeatedly asked them why they canceled my account, I received no response. I received a response to this question in about an hour.

today.com SUCKS

In order to get my content back, I would have to pay them what they have paid me plus 10%.

They broke it down according to what they paid me each pay period and then added the 10%.

I responded to them that $25 of that had been a sign on bonus and $50 had been a bonus I received for being the blogger with the biggest increase in my traffic for one month.

Monthly they were awarding the top blogger, the blogger with the most increase in traffic, editor's choice, etc.

They replied that they require payback for ALL money they paid us, regardless of whether it was what we attempted to earn or what they chose to give us in addition.

I only have those two bonuses. I didn't receive the bonuses that I know some did receive repeatedly. I can't imagine the ridiculous amount of money they would ask those bloggers for. I know some who received a bonus of about $200 monthly for several months.

They said as soon as they received the total they provided via paypal, they would return the content and delete the blog.

My question is, if Today.com has negated their end of the agreement, what is holding us to that agreement? Is that not a breach on their end? Thereby nullifying the agreement?

What Secrets Are You Hiding?

We all have secrets.

Anyone who says they don't is either lying to you or to themselves.

For me, I have more secrets than I care to admit.

I am an extremely private person. Probably seems ironic considering this is a personal blog and that I am very honest in what I write.

However, I do have some anonymity here. While some people I know do read this blog, I do my best to keep it from my family and friends who might sit in judgment or gossip in such a way that it would hurt my family.

Even so, I do not disclose my deepest secrets to you.

I have a wide range of secrets that include things that I have done for which I am ashamed or regretful and things that have happened that are painful or embarrassing.

Yet the things that I try to hold secret more than these are secrets of my thoughts and character.

We all think things we shouldn't. We all have moments that would expose chinks in the persona we present to the world.

The persona I do my best to present to the world is that of a strong, kind, compassionate, thoughtful and loving person.

I am those things most of the time.

There are some individuals that bring out the worst in me. Some that inspire thoughts so full of contempt and rage that I would be beyond mortified if others could read my mind.

Some things are intertwined. Some of my actions or experiences I keep secret because I do not want to expose those chinks. Those imperfections in who I am. Imperfections that would cause others to look at me differently.

I know there is no such thing as perfection, but I have always attempted to be as close to it as I can. In some ways, I'd rather keep up the facade than show my flaws.

What kind of secrets are you hiding?

Are You Vain Too?

photo credit: brittany vs. the world on flickr

I have noticed something about people when they look at photos they are in.

They show their vanity.

I will admit that when I look at photos I am in, I check to see if I look good or not. It's generally candids that I look at because I seem to always make a really horrible face.

Someone always catches me chewing, yawning, yelling, scratching my nose, rolling my eyes, blinking or something of the sort.

Ones I pose for, I generally don't worry about, other than blinking or red-eye.

I was sitting with my mom while she looked at the over 300 photos from Grandma's party. My mom openly admits that she is vain, so no surprise there. She repeatedly made comments like: "my eyes are closed," "my smile is weird," "oh how horrible, do I really look like that?" "oh man, that's not a good picture of me." But also comments like, "I think I look pretty damn good for my age."

From her, I expect such comments.

From my grandma, I was surprised!

She looked at the photos on Easter and she did the same thing. "Oh what a face!" "What am I looking like that for?" "I think I look pretty good." "I think I look as good as some people a few years younger than me."

Now, I am not surprised that people look at themselves in photos. We all want to look our best, right? I know people that would not allow photos to be taken of them let alone share the photo with someone else.

What surprises me is that they did not really look at anyone else in the photos. I always look at myself, but also the other people and comment. It wasn't until the slide show came around again that they looked at other people. Unless I pointed someone out.

It's interesting to notice such things. I wonder how many people view photos that way.

Blogging Friendships

When I first started blogging last July, I had no idea what to expect.

I had never blogged, other than a private blog on Myspace, and I didn't know the rules or niceties. I didn't expect anything from blogging other than earning a little money and being able to write.

I'm a writer living in a situation that doesn't really allow me to write the way I'd like to. I have written a novel, but can't work on the editing often because my living situation inhibits my writing style.

When I write fiction, I need to spread myself out and have quiet. Not something I get in this house. No room for spreading and constant chatter and interruptions.

I was thrilled to be able to write, even if it wasn't for my first born (read novel).

It took me a few weeks to get into a groove but I was enjoying the freedom to write. I started picking up the rules and niceties of blogging along the way.

What I had never expected, though, was to gain friendships.

It may seem absurd to non-blogger people, but blogging can create friendships among strangers.

For the most part, the people I have connected with through blogging truly care about each other and the world around them.

I hear jokes made about bloggers all the time, but my guess is they are not really seeing the people behind the blogs.

There are some incredibly intelligent, gifted writers.

There are some fascinating and funny people.

There are some people with real stories that could move even the hardest heart to tears.

There are people with so much knowledge and experience to share.

There are people that care greatly about humanity and would go out of their way to help a stranger.

I've found people in the same state all the way to other continents with whom I have developed a friendship. It doesn't matter what race, religion, political affiliation, age, gender, sexual orientation. On the internet, through blogging, the differences mean nothing.

I am beyond happy to have made these connections over the last several months. I am so proud to call you my friends.

Sunday Stealing

I stole this last Sunday from Lola at Lola's Diner. I know, it's from LAST Sunday, but hey I am a little slow and this Sunday I am going to be gone most of the day.

The 40 Meme

1. My uncle once :

Could walk

2. Never in my life :

have I gone bungie jumping. And I never will.

3. When I was seventeen :

graduating high school and mourning the thought of my 2 best friends going away to college.

4. High School was :

Great, I loved it. Though, I wouldn’t want to do it over again. Once was enough.

5. I will never forget :

the people that have touched my life

6. I once met :

every band member I loved

7. There’s this girl I know who :

can light up the faces and hearts of the grown-ups around her

8. Once, at a bar :

I drank so much I couldn’t see

9. By noon, I’m usually :

wrapping up blogging and getting some lunch while watching AMC

10. Last night :

Was Saturday night I guess that makes it alright

11. If only I had :

a brain, a heart, a home, the nerve

12. Next time I go to gym/church :

interesting they are together- gym and church. The next time I go to a gym will be when I have money for a membership. The next time I go to church will be today for my friend’s son’s baptism. I only hope I am not stricken down by lightening.

13. Susan Boyle :

has got talent

14. What worries me most :

too many things to list here…

15. When I turn my head left, I see :

windows

16. When I turn my head right, I see :

balloons

17. You know I’m lying when :

I try not to, but if I did you probably couldn’t tell. I’ve got a really good poker face….

18. What I miss most about the eighties :

Being innocent and carefree

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be :

I have no idea. I can’t imagine myself as any of them, though it would be fun to wear some of the costumes…

20. By this time next year :

I will be done with school, have a good job, be debt free and happy

21. A better name for me would be :

I don’t know if there is a better name for me.

22. I have a hard time understanding :

hate, ignorance, crimes against children

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll :

I am back to school and I am getting a Microsoft Office certificate to help me get a job.

24. You know I like you if :

I don't avoid you.

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be :

my mama

26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock :

Hmmm. It depends. I like 80’s rock and early 90’s rock and 70’s rock…I just like rock.

27. Take my advice, never :

Blog at Today.com

28. My ideal breakfast is :

OJ, Coffee, banana or small bagel and cream cheese

29. A song I love, but do not own is :

The new Pink CD, though it’s not really new anymore….

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest :

Eating…Chicago pizza, hot dogs, Italian beef...

31. My favorite Beatle is :

I don’t really have a favorite

32. Why won’t people :

Be more considerate of those around them?

33. If you spend the night at my house :

You’d have to sleep on the couch

34. I’d stop my wedding for :

Hmmm, probably to wait for someone I loved to get there

35. The world could do without :

Hate, violence, low-rider pants

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than :

Eat a cockroach

37. My favorite blonde is :

I don’t have a favorite blonde…

38: Paper clips are more useful than :

Some people I know

39. If I do anything well, it’s :

all in the genes

40. And by the way :

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Honey Buns

Some strange man called me that today. "Hey, Honey Buns!"

I ignored him, of course.

I was entering a grocery store and there were 2 cars stopped at the stop sign allowing pedestrians to cross.

I heard him say something a few times, but it didn't register because I figured he wasn't talking to me.

Then I heard him say it more clearly followed by a short whistle to get my attention and "Hey, Honey Buns!"

When I got inside I turned to look out the window and he was trying to flag someone down. Not sure if he had to ask a question or was looking for money.

Either way, I laughed and thought, if that's the case, a much more effective way to get someone to stop might be to say, "excuse me, miss."

If I don't know you, I don't respond to "baby," "sugar," "sweet thang," "doll," or any such nickname you might find suitable for a woman.

Entrecard Ads Flailing

I've been using Entrecard for quite some time now. I've always had a good number of clicks from ads I've placed on other blogs (using credits, I don't pay).

As you probably know by now, I have moved my blog from Today.com to Blogger. It's the same title and the same image I used on Entrecard before the change. The current header on my blog is even the same as on my old one.

Therefore, I don't think the problem is the change, because it's really no different. In fact, some people didn't realize I moved until I told them.

Yet since the paid ads began, I have had little to no clicks from the ads I have placed.

I can't help but wonder if Entrecarders are boycotting clicking on ads in protest to the paid ads change.

I'm curious to see how the paid ads thing pans out.

Multiple Sclerosis - Has It Touched Someone You Loved?

Many of you know that my uncle is living with MS.

He was diagnosed about 20 years ago after having some blurry vision, tingling limbs and stumbling a bit.

For years, he lived with very few symptoms and went into remission a few times.

However, as the years passed and his stress increased, the MS grew.

What is MS?

According to the MS Society, MS is defined as:

"Multiple sclerosis (or MS) is a chronic, often disabling disease that attacks the central nervous system (CNS), which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerves. Symptoms may be mild, such as numbness in the limbs, or severe, such as paralysis or loss of vision. The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS are unpredictable and vary from one person to another. Today, new treatments and advances in research are giving new hope to people affected by the disease."

One of the worse things for MS is stress.

Around the time that my uncle was diagnosed, his father passed away suddenly. He was raising his 2 sons on his own because his wife, the love of his life to this day, was a drug addict and abandoned them.

She came in and out of their lives until she died of a drug overdose about 12 years ago. During that time, the stress of her behavior, unexpected appearances, pleas for cash and the turmoil it caused for his sons pushed that stress further.

I believe it was when she died that the stress allowed his MS to take over. As I said, she was and is still the love of his life. He's never remarried and really never dated after she left. His sons fell into a bad way following in her footsteps of self-destructive behavior.

His MS caused him to be reliant on a motorized scooter, though he was able to walk and stand for short times up until 8 years ago.

He couldn't get around as well and his children had caused him a lot of emotional and financial heartache. He had to sell his business and his home. He became 100% reliant on that scooter.

As the last 8 years have progressed, his condition has drastically deteriorated. He is now confined to his bed with zero use of his legs or his left arm. Unfortunately, he has feeling in those limbs so he experiences all the pain that comes with MS without the function we all take for granted.

He can't hold his head up straight. He has lost all dignity in having his sister care for him, change his bedding, bathe him, tend to his wounds from being confined to bed, apply external catheters and tend to his every need.

He can still brush his own teeth and shave once someone brings it to him. He can still feed himself once someone prepares it for him and sets it on his tray.

Others are more fortunate. We have a family friend who is in good shape. She's had it for about as long and has been in remission. Each case is different, but each individual is living in uncertainty.

It's a heartbreaking disease. My uncle is too far gone for some of the newer medications to help. Most of them are for people who are better off than he is. I don't know if they will find a cure or a treatment for people like him in his lifetime, though I hope and pray they do.

If you would like to help, please click on the image in this post or to the right to donate for the MS Walk for a cure.

Today.com - Why They Suck

today.com SUCKS

You most likely know by now that Today.com canceled my account.

I have said little about it here until now for two reasons.

1) They canceled my account March 27th and I would not be paid until April 13th.
2) There were a few unpublished posts I had on my account that I wanted back.

My notice of cancellation was slightly different than those who are sharing it on their blogs. Mine said:

We regret to inform you that your VIP account with Today.com has been
canceled. We feel that your blog is no longer a good match for the
Today.com VIP program.
We wish you luck in your future blogging endeavors. Your final payment
will be sent on our next pay date: 4/10/09

Best Regards,
Today.com Support

The reason that I was extremely caught off guard was because there were no warning signs.

I had never had a pay reduction, where others had. I was still receiving the $1 per post and $2 per 1000 impressions.

That led me to believe that my blog must be working well for them, otherwise, I'd have had the pay cut that so many were complaining about.

The only thing I could think of that caused this action was that I somehow pissed them off with my last post, which they deleted.

All the post said was that they were no longer allowing us to use Entrecard because they don't allow 3rd party paid ads. I also said that this news plus the fact that at the time I didn't have a computer I could use regularly would cause me to blog less often, which made me sad.

I also had posted in the forum that I didn't understand why they were forcing us to lose Entrecard when we had the choice to deny the paid ads and that I get a big chunk of my traffic from EC.

That's it.

No big statements of distaste. No rebellious actions. I said one little thing that they didn't like and so long 30something.

When this first happened, I was beyond outraged. Then I thought, well, I had been considering giving up blogging because my computer was not working and it had become such a pain with Today.com anyway, so maybe it was a sign.

As the days passed, I started to feel this tremendous pull and guilt.

I knew there were readers who had been keeping up with various posts, but at that moment, about my grandma's party. There was guilt for just disappearing.

I knew I would really miss some of my blog friends, so there was guilt for that.

I felt guilty for ending my creative outlet.

And then, the warrior in me took over. In case you don't know, my name is Gaelic for Warrior Woman. I am pretty even-keeled, but if something pushes me too far or I feel wronged, the warrior is unleashed.

I decided that they were not going to stop me from blogging. I had learned enough from them to do it on my own. So what if I didn't have a steady pay from it, even though I could really use the money.

I was calculated in starting my blog and what little I said or did.

I was testing the waters as well.

Now that I got my last payday and got my unpublished blogs back, I have no reason to stay silent.

If they could simply cut someone like myself off with no warning, what about others who did have there pay reduced?

What about blogs like who had regularly brought them mass amounts of traffic? Who they praised constantly?

Whether you said something minor or threw an all out tantrum, they put a target on your blog and out you go.

Less than a week after they canceled my account, they sent me an email offering me a "great rate" for advertising on Today.com.

That pissed me off! You cancel my account, do not respond to my inquiries about why I was canceled, but you are offering me a great deal to advertise on Today.com?

While I was looking for advertising opportunities, it was more for those who would advertise on my site, not vice versa.

But really, do you think I would trust them enough to pay to advertise with Today.com? Having been on the inside and seen the issues they were having with advertising and the way they treat their bloggers, do you really think I would give them money and expect them to do what they say they will?

Today.com offers false advertisement and censorship. They offer great money making opportunities, but they lie. They limit what you can do, who you can network with, what you can say, how you can say it and they DO NOT pay the $2 ppm like they say. They only pay for traffic from places they think worthy of paying. Other traffic generators do not get you paid at all or you get a lower rate.

They want you to peddle goods with their affiliate links. They want you to refer others to them. But you say one thing questioning their decisions and they cancel your account without warning.

They make your account inactive, not your blog. They can assign someone to take over your blog! If you leave on your own accord or they throw you out, they not only take your content, they take your reputation as a blogger and can do what they want with your blog going forward.

DO NOT BLOG FOR TODAY.com! They mislead you and then steal your content. DO NOT ADVERTISE WITH TODAY.com unless you want no results and you want to be affiliated with a company that is dishonest and CENSORS its writers!

One of the things that really upsets me about being locked out of my account, even 3 weeks later, is that I have no access to my comments.

What I mean is that there are some regular readers who did not have a blog to link back to, they only left an email address with their name and now, I have no way to find them and tell them that I am still here.

In addition to that, I am mad that I cannot get those emails for comments I still get regarding my ductogram and biopsy last fall.

I still get comments from women who are told they need a ductogram and are looking to find out what the experience is like and for an outlet. I respond to them via email and have often developed a friendship. I have no way to respond to them now. That actually hurts me.

I did try to leave a comment on my last post to tell people where I am, but the Today.com Nazi's deleted it.

Flit over at Just Flitting has posted some things you should do if you have been exiled like we have or if you fear you will be....

Since I could not do some of these things BEFORE leaving, I did what I could after the fact. I have copied and saved all my old posts in case they go belly-up. I also went through a ton of my comments on there clicking on the links to let those bloggers know where I am now in case they didn't already find me.

I also deleted all my photobucket photos that were on there to make it look as ugly as possible.

Those of us who were exiled or left knowing they eventually would be have banned together. Many of us have created blogrolls of Today.com exiles. Hospitalera has a post listing those of us that left. Lost for a reason has a post with a huge thread of comments from ex-today bloggers. (Check out the Today blogroll to the right for more)

There is even a blog for those of us that have been exiled, Today.com Exiles.

I still visit some of the Today blogs because I like those blogs, but more importantly I like those bloggers. I won't punish them for what Today.com has done.

What A Mother

It should be every day, but at least we do have a day set aside to remind ourselves and others to care for the fragile home of ours.

I remember being in grade school learning about recycling and the ozone layer. It was still pretty mysterious back in the 80's.

My best friend and I wrote letters to the Mayor to implement a recycling program. We started a petition that we would go door to door to have signed to save the rain forest. We stopped using aerosol hairspray.

Others laughed or teased us, but we were very serious.

In High School there were groups and clubs that had the same vision and we joined in.

Now everyone is aware. So many are doing everything they can to help reverse the damage already done. So many more are caring for Mother Earth.

This planet is so beautiful. All you have to do is stop and look at all the wonder of it to appreciate it.

I have been hearing about the Disney film Earth, which is being released today, and it looks aesthetically stunning. Some are saying it's better than March of the Penguins. I'd love to see some of these things up close. If we don't do more to save Mother Earth, all we will have is images.

There is so much we can do to help. I know a lot of the things cost money and some of it is expensive right away, but it pays for itself in time.

Big things like buying energy efficient appliances, changing out old windows for new double-paned windows, insulating attics and basements and other green home improvements will save you money on your monthly bills, but there are also tax credits for these types of improvements.

Little things like replacing light bulbs with CFLs can have a big impact. They cost a bit more, but they last so much longer and they save money on your electric bill. Be aware that there are different levels of brightness. For me, the daylight ones are the best.
Places like Home Depot and Ikea have recycling programs for these bulbs.

Recycling batteries including every day batteries, cell phone, laptop and other batteries is a must. Ikea also recycles batteries at the same drop off bins as the CFLs. More importantly, use rechargeable batteries. It's better for the environment and it saves tons of money in the long run.


Using cloth, reusable bags when you shop rather than plastic bags is also a great help. If you can't afford to buy several reusable bags, be sure to recycle the plastic bags. Many grocery stores offer recycling of these bags. There are so many options in the reusable bags and you can get them for as low as $0.99. They even sell insulated bags for keeping items cold or hot.


If nothing else, recycle and use recycled products. It's so easy to do and it will keep so much out of the landfills. If you don't have a recycling program in your community, write your officials and demand that they Go Green!

A New Angel

A few weeks ago a friend of mine lost her sister-in-law. Less than a year ago, her sister-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia. She was pregnant with her second child.

They took the baby early and he was attached to tubes for several weeks. They began chemo to treat the leukemia aggressively.

The poor woman was sick for most of her baby’s life, but she was fighting hard so she could stay in his life.

They thought she was doing well. In fact the week before, we asked how she was and my friend said she was doing pretty good. Something happened and she took a turn for the worse.

She asked her family to take her kids home because she did not want them seeing her like that. A few days later she passed away.

My friend is in shock. I can’t say I blame her. You never expect someone 35 years old to die, even if they are sick.

My niece heard my sister talking about it on the phone and asked what happened. My niece asked how old the woman was. My sister told her and my niece said, “but Mom, that’s your age.”

My sister could see the panic in her face and told her that sometimes people who are young like mommy get sick and they die, but sometimes they live as long as great-grandma.

That helped ease her fears.

I never met my friend’s sister-in-law. Yet, I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop thinking about how devastated her family must be. I can’t stop thinking about her husband and her children.

Her family has set up a website in tribute to her, a woman who spent her life helping those with cancer, only to succumb to the disease herself. May she and her family find peace.