Thursday, July 18, 2013

My Disease. Or YAY YOU!

I have a disease.  It's a good one, I think, but still a disease in my mind nonetheless. 
I can't help myself.

I am compelled to always be the cheerleader. 

I was never an actual cheerleader.  Let’s be clear.  I do not mean the “rah rah” kind of cheerleader.  I have never been bubbly or perky or any other adjective that can be associated with a beverage.  Except for caffeinated.  I am always caffeinated. 

My disease is in being a cheerleader for people.  I cannot help myself.  I am always trying to lift people up to make them feel better about themselves.  It doesn’t matter who they are, how I know them, if they have wronged me, angered me, if they make me want to punch them or scream or even if I don’t know them at all.  I just can’t help myself. 

We live in a society that feeds off of tearing people down.  We are goaded into some unnecessary competition with each other for every little thing: to have more, to be more, to do more, to be superior in every way.  I do this better than you.  The way I live is better than you.  The way I think is better than you.  I am kinder than you.  I am less ignorant than you.  My way of parenting is better than yours. 

It’s sad and it is pathetic.  I hate it.  Why do we do this?  Why do we feel we have to do this?  It is based in insecurity for certain.  Low self-worth or self-esteem that requires lifting ourselves up by squashing each other. 

All that does is squash us all.

When you do this, you not only knock the person you target down, but by causing them damage, you further the cycle causing them to then knock someone else down.  Nor are you truly lifting yourself up.  It is a false sense of worth.  Flipping it by being kind and lifting others up would lift your spirit so much more than knocking someone down ever could.  Try it.

As Thumper says, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

War On Drugs: A Losing Battle

As a nation, we need to do more in this so-called War on Drugs. 

It is more like a battle that we keep losing.  A battle law enforcement and families are losing.

Law enforcement does what they can to keep drugs from being smuggled in, but we are failing at how we fight the war once the drugs are here.  We take down small dealers hoping to flip them and take down the big dealers, but that isn’t working is it?  What did Einstein say is the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. 

We charge addicts for possession and toss them in jail.  Misdemeanor or Felony charges end up on their records, depending on the amount, making it difficult to find jobs, but beyond that, we do nothing to help them.

You may think you are not affected by addiction, but most people know someone who is living with addiction whether they realize they know them or not.  Drug-related crimes affect everyone as well.

Addiction is a disease.  Like anything that falls under Mental Health, addiction is scoffed at, shunned, hidden, and otherwise treated with disdain and disgust. 

People who have not known or loved an addict often see them as wastes of space, lost causes, filthy, frightening, criminals who should be locked up.  The last three often do apply when they are strung out, but the first two are not true.  They need help. 

There are very few treatment centers out there and fewer that work.  Many of them just introduce addicts who are there by court order, not to get real help.  It can take an addict several times in rehab before they are recovering (an addict is never recovered, always recovering because the temptation is always there).  We need solid treatment centers with real focus on treatment providing tools to cope with the addiction and tools to improve their lives. 

When an addict chooses rehab, they generally need detox first.  They need to find a facility that has a detox and a rehab facility.  The problem is, most facilities do not have beds available when an addict is ready.  Telling an addict to wait 30 days is like handing them a bag of whatever their chosen substance is.  When they are ready, they need to be able to go and do it.  They could O.D. before those 30 days are up.   They could be in a drug induced pit of quick sand that makes them unable to come up for air long enough to realize they want help after those 30 days. 

We hear about celebrities like Lindsey Lohan going in and out of treatment centers.  Your average addict could never afford those facilities, but the ones who are ready would beg for the bed. 

Why is it that Hollywood seems to embrace addicts while the rest of the world wants them herded and dumped in a dark sewer drain so we can put the lid on them and ignore that they exist? 

We see so many celebrities who have suffered or who do suffer addiction and they are revered regardless.  They are given job after job, chance after chance, but your average addict is not.  We see so many celebrities who die from addiction and they are heralded and made into an icon, but your average addict dies and nobody hears a thing. 

Cory Monteith was an addict given chances to be the star he was and now that he has passed away from heroin and alcohol, there is a bright light shone on addiction, particularly heroin. 

My heart breaks for him and his family.  I have seen what this demon does to people and their families.  I have felt the heart break and I have watched good people struggle to fight the powerful hold heroin has over them. 

Let Cory Monteith’s death bring the much-needed attention to this drug and this disease.  We need to change the way we handle addiction.  Instead of throwing the addicts into prison, which only feeds and fuels the problem, take that money and invest into facilities that focus on real treatment.  Allow drug treatments that are thought to cure addiction to be administered in the U.S. and without costing a ridiculous amount of money.  We need affordable, available and true treatments and we need them now.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

BFFs For Life

Today is my oldest and bestest friend's birthday (yes, when it comes to one's best friend, it is acceptable grammar to say bestest).

We have about 740 miles and an entire time zone between us, so I cannot be with her today. Instead I thought I'd blog about her.

We met when we were 5 years old and have been best friends from Kindergarten all through high school.

My great fear when we graduated high school was losing that friendship.  I was pretty sure we'd always be friends, but I was afraid of losing that bond.  They say when people go away to college, they grow apart and lose touch.

She went off to ASU while I went to a local University.  We visited as often as we could and were at each graduation. Nothing changed.

She moved to Georgia, got a career, snagged herself a husband and had a couple kids and we are still the same girls we were in high school.  Her dad has commented that when we get together, we act like in high school.  He called it "instant stupid" because no matter how long we've been separated, we immediately revert to the giggling, silly school girls we once were.  Like no time had passed at all.

We've been through it all together.  We were together for all the fancy dress occasions, I was at her bridal and baby showers, a bridesmaid at her wedding, godmother to her first child.

We may not talk as often as we did in high school or college, or even as often as we did when neither of us was working a few years ago, but we both know that we are just a phone call or plane ride away  if we need each other.  I haven't seen her in far too long and I miss her like crazy, but one day soon we will be together and it will be instant stupid.  Love you, girl.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Words To Match

A friend shared this on Facebook yesterday.  It struck a chord and has been lingering at the edge of my mind:

Nothing is either good or bad for the law of attraction, it simply obeys you. As far as the law of attraction is concerned, if you think or talk about something it must be one of your favorite things, so the law gives it to you! Next time you begin to think or talk about something, stop and ask yourself: “Is this one of my favorite things?” 
– The Secret Daily Teachings, Rhonda Byrne"

I have believed for a very long time that what you put out in the universe is more likely to happen, so I have banished negative language from life.  I used to say things like, " of course that would happen to me" or "knowing my luck xyz will happen."  I had to consciously change my thinking to catch myself and erase such language.  

I've worked very hard to put positive thoughts and energy out into the world.  KARMA rules, so I purposefully make kindness matter. It is the every day little gestures or words to a stranger that often make the biggest difference.  Someone can be having the absolute worst day, but a kind word or smile, letting someone ahead of you in line, holding a door, helping someone pick up what was dropped, etc. can be the bright light that lets their heart smile enough to improve their mood.

Moods and energy are contagious.  If one bad mood meets another and another, it just brings a dark cloud over the area.  A small act of kindness can bounce that light around and make the environment around us much sunnier.  Amy Logan has written a book that wants to inspire everyone, starting with children, to go out and be kind because kindness matters.

Changing your thinking takes time and effort, it doesn't happen over night.  It has to be a choice you make every moment of every day, but it can happen and it will make the world of difference to you and those around you.  I made the change in my thoughts 100%, but realized after reading the quote at the start of this post, I had not changed my words to match.  If you say you don't care about something, but you really do you're not helping to change the situation, simply deflect any judgment or pain it may cause to admit what you want.   That is something I will have to work on.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Back To Work Bliss

As I mentioned, I am a Nanny. 
When I decided to pursue this career, there were many reasons it appealed to me aside from my love of children.

Nannying provides a flexible work environment.  I am not stuck behind a desk, or even in an office building.  My office is wherever the child is or needs to go.  When most of my friends don’t see the light of day all winter, I actually get to go outside.  When it’s a perfect summer day, I get to relish in it.  Likewise, if it is a horrible day, we stay put.  I also get to eat whenever I want (assuming the child isn’t in need of something), though bathroom breaks are few and far between. 

Nannying for very young children allows some down time.  Many Nannies are required to do other tasks, so this is not true for all, but in my case, I am only responsible for the child and cleaning her dishes, so when she naps, my time is free.  I can watch TV, read, make calls, etc.  One of the big reasons I wanted to Nanny was to get some writing time in that I cannot get at home.  I am trying to make this a priority before nap
times cease to exist.

Nannying is relatively stress-free.  Coming from a very stressful office environment, having a stress-free work environment was crucial.  Sadly, it has not always been stress-free, but right now, it is as stress-free as one could possibly hope.  There are other stressors that come with the responsibility of caring for someone’s child, but if you have the experience and the know-how, it lessens this stress level. 

I really wanted a job where I could leave at the end of the day and not think about work.  I didn’t want to have to think about any of it, especially what I have to do tomorrow or how behind I am in XYZ or how I am going to deal with so-and-so.  I figured Nannying would make this possible.

I failed to realize how much I would think about my charge.  It’s like any job.  The people you are with and what you do all day are what you talk about at home and with friends.  In a Nanny’s case, it’s the charge(s) and details of the day.  I got over this unexpected detail very quickly because I remembered how easily you all in love with the kids. 
I have been off the past week, so I haven’t seen my charge in 10 days.  I miss her and can’t wait to see how she’s grown and what changes she may have made.  You know you love your work when you look forward to going back after 10 days off.  

Friday, July 5, 2013

Never-Ending Search

I mentioned in prior posts that among all the things I have been searching for, I found the career and spiritual path that make me happy.

Balance and love are the two other things on the header of my blog.  I am still single, so that aspect of love is still out there.  I think I will always struggle with that old elusive balance.  Life is a juggling act, isn’t it?
I’m afraid, though, that in declaring my satisfaction in two of the four areas I’ve inadvertently alluded to being done searching there as well. 

Anybody that claims to have finished searching in life is either lying to him or herself or lying to you.

Life is about self-discovery.

As we age, we change; the way we view the world changes.

When I was younger, I hoped to find the answers and be done.  Now I realize that I will never be done and I am grateful.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

July 4th In The Days Of Old

The 4th of July always makes me think of Kentucky. 

When we were kids, we always went to my grandparents’ farm in Kentucky for the 4th.

It was like something out of the movies: the glory of Americana and the beauty of childhood. 

The farm was my grandfather’s family’s for generations.  His siblings' families were all very nearby.  Some right across the road or just down the road a piece. 

(You know how someone can live in America for years and their accent goes away until they speak to someone back home?  That is kind of how my mind works.  I just have to think of Kentucky and I think that lingo.)

I am not even sure if it was just the day of the 4th or the whole week of the 4th.  In my memories it seemed to last forever.  It was the best of times.

My papa (what my sister and I called our grandpa) raised a field of corn and a massive watermelon patch so we always had as much fresh corn and watermelon as we could eat.  This post came about because I just ate a piece of watermelon and I cannot do that without going back to 1980something eating watermelon fresh from the field.  And I cannot eat watermelon without wishing I had a pig to toss the rind to when I am done.  Did I mention my papa raised pigs too? 

My papa was one of 6 (8 if you count the twins that died at birth), so you can imagine all of his siblings, nieces, nephews and great or even great-great nieces and nephews that were around.  It was a giant party. 

Imagine a huge open field on a hill with a small home at the top of the hill.  A cornfield to your left (if you are looking at the home from the road).  A red smokehouse next to the home, a red barn to the right of the smokehouse and back a bit.  A wire-fenced area of dirt under which a crop of potatoes grew that was just in front of the barn.  You might see a few horses in that area.  A dog might run down to greet you.  Several cats would be around the smokehouse.  Hopefully the pigs were in their area behind the barn, but they probably were figuring out how to escape.  And trees all behind the property.  The property was lined by woods.  There were a few trees near the home too. 

One of the trees on the opposite side of the gravel driveway that led from the road to the smokehouse was the tree on which my papa had placed a large nail.  On that nail we would put these fireworks that, once lit, would spin like a pinwheel and shoot out colorful sparks and squeal.  It was awesome. 

Most veterans of war hate fireworks.  Not my papa.  He fought 36 months on the front lines during WWII and brought home a purple heart for his efforts.  He LOVED the 4th of July, I think, more than the kids. 

We always had BAGS and BAGS of fireworks.  Bottle rockets, fountains and anything else you can imagine.  My papa, though, loved plain old firecrackers the most and would laugh with delight when he set them off.  One year he broke off my step-dad’s cigar to use to light them.  He called it a pucy-puter.  Not really sure where he got that term, but it stuck. 

The fourth was filled with all the fireworks you could dream, grilled meats, fresh corn, kidney bean salad, macaroni salad and probably any other salad you could imagine.  And pie.  The best pie was my Aunt Sue’s Pecan Pie.  My papa’s brother J.D.’s wife and she made the absolute best pecan pie ever.  I dream about that pie sometimes.  I’ve made pecan pie and bought many a pecan pie, but none could ever hold a candle to hers. 

All of the food was covered in those little mesh net canopies everyone had back then to keep the flies off.  I loved those covers.  They don’t make them like that anymore. Those covers were just one of the visuals in the camera lens of my memory that makes the 4th perfect.

It’s been many years since we had a 4th like that.  My papa died before I was a teenager.  His death started a trend of change.  People moved away, older family members passed away, life evolved. 

Now the 4th is more subdued and I always long for the good old days.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A Kardashian By Any Other Name

I have to wonder how much thought Kim and Kanye gave the baby’s name: North.  North West. 


North West is a direction, not a little girl’s name. 

I am not opposed to unique or creative names if said name is not going to leave the child in therapy for decades.

The first nutball was Gwyneth naming her children Apple and Moses. 

Apple.  I bet they call her App for short, which is just perfect in this mobile technology age.  Just download that App right there, won’t you?  Poor girl. 

And Holy Moses, you know that boy has been asked about being sent down river in a basket, parting seas and commandments a million times.

We keep seeing it over and over. 

Parents failing to consider the affect the name with which they brand their child will have.

It’s not just celebs.  I am sure you remember the whackadoos who named their child Hashtag.  Alrighty….

Being the child of a Kardashian is bound to be challenging.  For starters, they dare you to keep up with them.  I mean, that is how they earned their fame, no?  Then we have 5-minute marriages, sex tapes and every move being captured on some form of media and shoved down our throats. 

Mix that with being the offspring of Kanye West.  I am not sure a child will bring his ego back into this universe or expand it even further. 

North West is going to have a rough road ahead of her.  The jokes she will be riddled with as she grows are infinite. 

I pray she does not inherit her mother’s booty.  Can you imagine the airline jokes a child named North West is going to get?  Especially if she has a generous rear. 

And the fart jokes!  Anytime someone smells it, they will make a North Westerly wind joke. 

Poor baby.  Maybe they will change her name before she endures too much torture.  If not, I bet her therapy bills will be North West of a million bucks. 

Everything Happens For a Reason

As my blog title indicates, I have been searching for many things.  I touched on my search for career leading to a complete shift in thought becoming a Nanny.

I also mentioned that a friend mentioned her friend was looking for a Nanny, which was the impetus for me to re-create myself. 

When it’s right, everything falls into place.

I said in my last post that I would expand on my belief that everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.

I have believed that for as long as I can remember.

One of the other things I have been searching to find is my spiritual path.  In reality, I was already on it, but I was trying to find a hole in which to place myself, so to speak.

I’ve never been religious.  To me religion is an organized institution led by men.  For many it works.  For many it gives them the connection they need.  For me, it always felt alienating.

I was raised Catholic, but I always questioned what was taught.  It did not help matters that my favorite priest ended up being one of the child molesters.  It also did not help their case when they refused to baptize my friend’s child because she wasn’t married as if the child was somehow to blame for how she entered the world.  Nor did it help that they refused to marry my sister because her husband was divorced.  Yet they buried John Wayne Gacy (yes I am speaking of one parish here).

I digress. 

I have always been drawn to religion and spirituality.  In college, I took World Religions, Judaism and another class whose title I cannot remember.  I loved learning about the various Abrahamic and other religions of the world.  I found validity in them all.  I also questioned them all. 

None of them felt right for me.  Organized religion doesn’t work for me.  It doesn’t fill my soul or make me feel connected to whatever you choose to call the high power to which we all pray (those of us that believe in a high power, that is).  It’s all the same in one respect; however we get there doesn’t matter as long as we get there.

I never felt right having to go through another person to speak to God.  It seems wrong to me.  Many religions believe they can connect to God directly through prayer, meditation, being amidst nature, etc.

I’ve always been one to trust my gut, my instincts.  We all have them.  I’ve also been prone to just knowing things.  If you asked me how I knew that, I’d shrug.  Whether someone asked a question and the answer popped in my head.  Or if I were lost and just focused I'd find the way where I needed to go.  Or if I were worried and I asked for an answer and I would hear it.  Or if I were sitting quietly and an image popped in my head and then it happened.  To me, that is a result of a direct connection to God.

Everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.

At some point I think, perhaps, I believed this on a certain level but did not fully embrace it.  More like I was trying to allow the words to sink in in order to believe them.  Fake it til you make it, in a way.

I know a lot of religious people who go to church because you are supposed to, but they don’t fully embrace the religion.  They may want to, but it hasn’t sunk into them.  Even more so, they haven’t sunken into it.  This is the same.

Spirituality and religion are not mutually exclusive.  One can be religious or spiritual, but one can also be both religious and spiritual. 

In order to be spiritual, you have to embrace it fully.  You have to surrender.

As I said, I’ve believed that things happen for a reason and as they are meant to for some time. 

When my cousin passed away, we were all in shock.  The first week after his death, we all went through the stages of denial and anger.

What got me through was the idea that everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.

This has gotten me through many years of unemployment, sacrificing a bit of my life to help my family, jobs falling through, losing loved ones, etc.

When Michael died, I had to surrender.  My emotions would have consumed me.  He was like a baby brother to me.  Everything reminded me of him.  I would have been swallowed by the grief if I didn’t truly accept this idea and let go.

I live with no regrets.  I’ve said it before.  EVERYTHING we experience makes us who we are and who we will become. 

Everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.  There is no point in questioning what goes wrong in our lives.  Why me?  If only I had done xyz.  I should have done this or that. 

We are given tests, challenges, exercises by God to push us to become who we are meant to be.  It is a difficult concept to wrap your head around, especially if you are in a hellish state.  Questioning it or denying it only delay the inevitable: reaching the place you are meant to reach.

This does not mean everything is predestined or fated.  We have a choice.  If you are presented with choice A or choice B, either choice is going to be the right choice because it will either be the shorter path to learning and becoming the greater more evolved you, or it is a longer, bumpier path to that you.  Whichever choice is the choice that you needed at that moment. 

We are multifaceted, layered creatures.  The concept of the subconscious should shed some light on this idea.  We are not simply the bodies you see in the mirror.  The fact that we can think something, hear a contradictory voice in our own minds and change our thinking proves this.  The fact that we can control our primal reactions to things and use our thoughts, our beliefs, our spirits to change our behavior is proof of this. 

Our subconscious, our gut, our instincts, whatever might be your decision maker, receives the message that leads you where you need to go. 

You might be saying, “so someone dying young like your cousin is meant to be?”


Michael died for a reason.  I don’t generally question why.  Some things are not meant for us to understand or know, it is the will of the higher power.  That is what surrendering means.  To accept without question.  However, when someone young dies, there is a reason.  Generally to bring awareness to an illness or open the eyes of others or to save the heartache that might come if that person lived walking down a treacherous road.  I won’t go into the reason Michael died.  People who lost him most likely understand it.  I will say that a few days after he died (and I have not told my family this because at the time it was very difficult for me) he showed me in a dream what his life would have been if he had not passed.  It brought me comfort.  It furthered my belief that things happen for a reason and as they are meant to. 

I have found my spiritual path and am grateful because it has brought me through some very difficult times.  Like my career choice, I don’t feel the need to explain it or defend it.  We all have different journeys and different paths to God.  As long as we get there, what difference does the method make?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

From Unemployment Comes Salvation

Where have I been since my last post in May 2010?  Really, the question should be where have I been since December 2009 because we all know my post in 2010 was pathetic. 

As I mentioned, I burned out on blogging.  I started at a site that paid per post and per views so, I cut my blogging teeth learning to promote.  It was very time consuming.  I was trying to find a job and make money somehow and I realized how much time was spent in attempts to make a couple dollars.  I just didn’t have the time or energy for it anymore.

What I forgot was that I could blog without promoting like mad. 

Around that same time, I was helping clean out my parents’ attic and in doing so I became obsessed with eBay.  I was selling my childhood to get by.  I saved a few things I couldn’t part with, like my Cabbage Patch Kid, but the majority was sold to the highest bidder.  In that respect, it paid to be a packrat.

I also found Facebook around then.  It quenched my need for connecting with others and saved me the time and energy I felt was wasted on promoting my blog.

I was still interviewing for jobs, with the continued lack of success.  I had a talent for getting jobs that fell apart.  They’d last an hour or a few days before something occurred ending the job. 

I was unemployed for some time.  I applied and interviewed a lot, but I will be honest, I was afraid of going back to work.  For a lot of reasons.  One being that I had been traumatized by my last employer.  The thought of going back to an office setting made me sick to my stomach.

I was also afraid to leave my mom responsible for everything on her own.  I had been helping care for Grandma and the house for so long that I felt guilty leaving her to take care of my uncle and everything else.

I hadn’t told her, she still doesn’t know as far as I know, that I was looking at part-time jobs so that I could continue to help her.  I knew I NEEDED full-time work, but my gut said no, none of it was right. 

Not that I would have turned anything down; I was desperate.

I have believed for a very long time that everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.  (I will go further into this at another time.)

When I lost my old job, it happened at the exact right time.  My uncle had to move from one rental home to another.  I wasn’t working so I could help my mom pack everything and move him.  There were several times over the span of my unemployed state that I was offered a job and something fell through.  Shortly after each one, something happened and we were grateful I was home.

At the time, I knew it was good I was home, but I was also frustrated because I NEEDED a job. 

November 20, 2010 my mom went to my uncle’s like she did every day and found my 27 year-old cousin dead on the floor. 

Our worlds changed.  I will touch more on his death another time, but for today I am focusing on the employment/career aspect.

With Michael’s death, many things shifted in me and I started looking at things with different eyes.  I started paying attention more to the signs around me.

Early 2011, a friend mentioned she knew someone looking for a Nanny and a light bulb went off.

Why not?  I love kids.  I have a lot of experience with kids, including day care.

I interviewed with them and things went well, though they decided to give their babysitter the opportunity. 

I took it upon myself to look more into being a Nanny.  A lot of people recreate themselves after a length of unemployment.  If I was going to do that, I needed to know as much as I could get my eyeballs on.  The legality of it, the demand for it, the expecations, the pay range, etc.

I found a lot of opportunities available.  I decided to go for it; I figured I’d see how things went.  If it wasn’t for me, I’d do it for a little while as I continued the job hunt.

Within a day of posting my profile on a couple of sites, I had a lot of interviews scheduled.  I never liked interviewing at office positions.  I was never confident enough to pull it off.  I wanted to be, but I was convinced they could see through my facade.  With nannying, I have always felt completely confident.

I had several offers, but actually turned them down because it wasn’t right.  That is how confident I was.  I found the right fit and was working soon after.  I worked 4 days a week, which allowed me time to continue to help take care of Grandma and help around the house. I was with that family over a year before circumstances changed and we parted ways.

I am currently with an amazing family that I love so much.  The baby I Nanny for is the sweetest, happiest baby with the best disposition.  I LOVE going to work every day.  I never dread waking up in the morning.   I am so grateful that my friend tried to help her friend find a Nanny. 

I know a lot of people want to know how long I will do this and how this will help in my future return to work.  I am working and really don’t see a need to work in another field.  Being a Nanny is an actual profession with an association (INA), classes, support groups, etc.  I’m sorry if they don’t understand it, but I am not going to explain to anyone my choice in profession other than to say I am truly happy.  Why would I do something that makes me miserable because it fits your ideal of what I should be doing with my life?

Monday, July 1, 2013

The World is A Changin'

The world is a changin'.

I haven't blogged in years.  I was going through the old sites I used to use to promote my blog and found many are gone! 

Entrecard is gone!  

Entrecard was one of the top blog promotion sites.  I was a loyal dropper for a couple of years maxing out my daily limit.  

I had checked in with Entrecard not too long ago (I have no sense of time anymore so what "not too long ago" means is questionable) and I had a boatload of credits.  Like 50,000.  I was thinking as I was starting this baby back up again, I can just go use up that massive credit load I have built up.  

But they are gone!  Entrecard is GONE! 

So are a few other sites I used to use.  What has happened to the blogosphere?

In all honesty, Entrecard is part of what caused my burn out so I can't be too terribly upset, right?  I mean, dropping in on 300 blogs a day is a lot of time.  I don't know about any of you, but it is hard to visit a blog and not read something, so it wasn't just clicking on the little box.  

I was unemployed, so I had more time, but I was also a job seeker. Being an unemployed job seeker is a full-time job.  Something had to go, which for me was blogging.  There are other reasons I ended up not coming back to the blog for a while, but I will get into those another time.  

Among these topics are sudden and unexpected death, multiple deaths, career change, employment (yes I am employed now! yippee!), more death, dream chasing and finding some of the things I've been searching to find. 

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Making a Come Back

It has been so very long since I last blogged.  A variety of things have kept me away.  The main reason for having stopped was truly burn out.  Between job searching, stress and all that attempting to monetize a blog entails, I was burned out.  I needed a break. 

Facebook fulfilled my need to connect without having to think about what I had to say in more than 20 words or gathering an audience.  

I bailed.

I was also making eBay my focus selling selling selling. Eventually, I burned out on that too.  

Every now and then I would think about coming back, but it never went beyond that.

A friend recently started a blog.  She had asked about making money from it and I offered to help her.  In that suggestion, I realized I needed to come back and look over mine to recall all the things I had been doing.   Between walking down memory lane and reading her blog, it made me feel the draw to do it more strongly.

I cannot promise a daily post like I once had been doing, but I hope to post a few times a week.

I need to catch y'all up on what has been going on the last 3 years!  Stay tuned.

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