Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Everything Happens For a Reason

As my blog title indicates, I have been searching for many things.  I touched on my search for career leading to a complete shift in thought becoming a Nanny.

I also mentioned that a friend mentioned her friend was looking for a Nanny, which was the impetus for me to re-create myself. 

When it’s right, everything falls into place.

I said in my last post that I would expand on my belief that everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.

I have believed that for as long as I can remember.

One of the other things I have been searching to find is my spiritual path.  In reality, I was already on it, but I was trying to find a hole in which to place myself, so to speak.

I’ve never been religious.  To me religion is an organized institution led by men.  For many it works.  For many it gives them the connection they need.  For me, it always felt alienating.

I was raised Catholic, but I always questioned what was taught.  It did not help matters that my favorite priest ended up being one of the child molesters.  It also did not help their case when they refused to baptize my friend’s child because she wasn’t married as if the child was somehow to blame for how she entered the world.  Nor did it help that they refused to marry my sister because her husband was divorced.  Yet they buried John Wayne Gacy (yes I am speaking of one parish here).

I digress. 

I have always been drawn to religion and spirituality.  In college, I took World Religions, Judaism and another class whose title I cannot remember.  I loved learning about the various Abrahamic and other religions of the world.  I found validity in them all.  I also questioned them all. 

None of them felt right for me.  Organized religion doesn’t work for me.  It doesn’t fill my soul or make me feel connected to whatever you choose to call the high power to which we all pray (those of us that believe in a high power, that is).  It’s all the same in one respect; however we get there doesn’t matter as long as we get there.

I never felt right having to go through another person to speak to God.  It seems wrong to me.  Many religions believe they can connect to God directly through prayer, meditation, being amidst nature, etc.

I’ve always been one to trust my gut, my instincts.  We all have them.  I’ve also been prone to just knowing things.  If you asked me how I knew that, I’d shrug.  Whether someone asked a question and the answer popped in my head.  Or if I were lost and just focused I'd find the way where I needed to go.  Or if I were worried and I asked for an answer and I would hear it.  Or if I were sitting quietly and an image popped in my head and then it happened.  To me, that is a result of a direct connection to God.

Everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.

At some point I think, perhaps, I believed this on a certain level but did not fully embrace it.  More like I was trying to allow the words to sink in in order to believe them.  Fake it til you make it, in a way.

I know a lot of religious people who go to church because you are supposed to, but they don’t fully embrace the religion.  They may want to, but it hasn’t sunk into them.  Even more so, they haven’t sunken into it.  This is the same.

Spirituality and religion are not mutually exclusive.  One can be religious or spiritual, but one can also be both religious and spiritual. 

In order to be spiritual, you have to embrace it fully.  You have to surrender.

As I said, I’ve believed that things happen for a reason and as they are meant to for some time. 

When my cousin passed away, we were all in shock.  The first week after his death, we all went through the stages of denial and anger.

What got me through was the idea that everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.

This has gotten me through many years of unemployment, sacrificing a bit of my life to help my family, jobs falling through, losing loved ones, etc.

When Michael died, I had to surrender.  My emotions would have consumed me.  He was like a baby brother to me.  Everything reminded me of him.  I would have been swallowed by the grief if I didn’t truly accept this idea and let go.

I live with no regrets.  I’ve said it before.  EVERYTHING we experience makes us who we are and who we will become. 

Everything happens for a reason and as it is meant to.  There is no point in questioning what goes wrong in our lives.  Why me?  If only I had done xyz.  I should have done this or that. 

We are given tests, challenges, exercises by God to push us to become who we are meant to be.  It is a difficult concept to wrap your head around, especially if you are in a hellish state.  Questioning it or denying it only delay the inevitable: reaching the place you are meant to reach.

This does not mean everything is predestined or fated.  We have a choice.  If you are presented with choice A or choice B, either choice is going to be the right choice because it will either be the shorter path to learning and becoming the greater more evolved you, or it is a longer, bumpier path to that you.  Whichever choice is the choice that you needed at that moment. 

We are multifaceted, layered creatures.  The concept of the subconscious should shed some light on this idea.  We are not simply the bodies you see in the mirror.  The fact that we can think something, hear a contradictory voice in our own minds and change our thinking proves this.  The fact that we can control our primal reactions to things and use our thoughts, our beliefs, our spirits to change our behavior is proof of this. 

Our subconscious, our gut, our instincts, whatever might be your decision maker, receives the message that leads you where you need to go. 

You might be saying, “so someone dying young like your cousin is meant to be?”


Michael died for a reason.  I don’t generally question why.  Some things are not meant for us to understand or know, it is the will of the higher power.  That is what surrendering means.  To accept without question.  However, when someone young dies, there is a reason.  Generally to bring awareness to an illness or open the eyes of others or to save the heartache that might come if that person lived walking down a treacherous road.  I won’t go into the reason Michael died.  People who lost him most likely understand it.  I will say that a few days after he died (and I have not told my family this because at the time it was very difficult for me) he showed me in a dream what his life would have been if he had not passed.  It brought me comfort.  It furthered my belief that things happen for a reason and as they are meant to. 

I have found my spiritual path and am grateful because it has brought me through some very difficult times.  Like my career choice, I don’t feel the need to explain it or defend it.  We all have different journeys and different paths to God.  As long as we get there, what difference does the method make?

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